She's got skills.
Not only can she convince any person outside the home that is the most delightful little girl with the best manners, cutest smile, and happiest disposition but she can push boundaries so far past the line that I don't even know where they are anymore.
We've removed her door because we are replacing it with a prettier one. Mind you, I sold it before I had finished painting the new one so she is now door-less. Which wouldn't be a problem .. except that it is our only leverage. When she constantly leaves her room at night, we threaten to close the door and at times we have to follow through with the threat.
Now I'm not so stupid as to make an empty threat about a door that is not there, but I must say that I have no idea what other leverage I could use.
The first time she left her room after the removal of the door, she got caught and ran straight back to her room in tears (before I had even said a word!) and started crying "Leave the door open please". A second into her tear-filled rant she says "HEY! Where is my door? I don't like my door I want a white one" (The new ones are white- old are oak -yuck)
Then yesterday I told her. "If you do not stay in your room then Mommy is going to take your dinosaur away"
"Ok Mommy, here is my dinosaur" She hands it to me with an equally firm stare.
1 Point Melina, 0 point Mommy.
Always ten steps ahead of me. If she does something wrong she places herself in time-outs and even goes as far to play up a very dramatic crying fit which of course is entirely fake and she stops when she removes herself from her fake timeout.
I've come to the realization that discipline is not at all effective for her. She rebels and it is just one big power struggle. To which 99% of the time I lose.
If I reason with her or "guide" her (a.k.a- if she gets her way) Things go smoothly.
So if she wants to hit, I have to tell her what she is allowed to hit.
If she wants to yell, I have to tell her where it is okay to yell.
If she doesn't want to share, I have to tell her where she needs to play to have alone time.
I guess I should be proud that she stands her ground. Goes after what she wants and has a backbone but it's not fun when I am the one in the power struggle.
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
Breakthrough
"I had them first" Melina states firmly as she pulls the basket of markers across the table and away from me.
Sighing I repeat what I have been repeating for months. "WE are coloring, and WE have to share"which is usually followed by some muttering, a little bit of whining and a forceful action of sharing meaning she will toss the item at you that she is forced to share.
Melina stares at me with a blank expression.
Just another day with a toddler.
I stared back and politely asked for the markers. Then I saw it. The light bulb. Her eyes lit up and she pushed all the markers towards me and said "Mommy I share it"
I became excited to say the least. "Good sharing Melina! That makes Mommy very happy"
And it stuck. No more hitting, pushing, shoving, whining, throwing fits. Okay I should clarify that this is only in regards to sharing not when it comes to being angry, or not getting the thing she is currently demanding. It is a huge leap. Past few days have been filled with lots of sharing and playing nice and the happier I get over it, the happier she gets.
About the same time that she learned that playing nice is more fun is the same time that "Please" made it back into her vocabulary. We taught her to say "Excuse me" when she wants attention and it involves interrupting, but it ended up replacing Please. We bought a tiny little book with a very simple story that involves a penguin making demands and the mother teaching him to say please. Now when I raise my eyebrows at her endless demands.. she pauses.. gives a big grin and excitedly shouts "PLEASE!"
Sighing I repeat what I have been repeating for months. "WE are coloring, and WE have to share"which is usually followed by some muttering, a little bit of whining and a forceful action of sharing meaning she will toss the item at you that she is forced to share.
Melina stares at me with a blank expression.
Just another day with a toddler.
I stared back and politely asked for the markers. Then I saw it. The light bulb. Her eyes lit up and she pushed all the markers towards me and said "Mommy I share it"
I became excited to say the least. "Good sharing Melina! That makes Mommy very happy"
And it stuck. No more hitting, pushing, shoving, whining, throwing fits. Okay I should clarify that this is only in regards to sharing not when it comes to being angry, or not getting the thing she is currently demanding. It is a huge leap. Past few days have been filled with lots of sharing and playing nice and the happier I get over it, the happier she gets.
About the same time that she learned that playing nice is more fun is the same time that "Please" made it back into her vocabulary. We taught her to say "Excuse me" when she wants attention and it involves interrupting, but it ended up replacing Please. We bought a tiny little book with a very simple story that involves a penguin making demands and the mother teaching him to say please. Now when I raise my eyebrows at her endless demands.. she pauses.. gives a big grin and excitedly shouts "PLEASE!"
Buddha
I love Buddha statues. They have to be the cutest little things. I finally got around to buying on. He isn't my first choice, has a funny smile that borderlines on crazy looking.
Melina hates him
We were sitting in bed bright and early in the morning when Melina leaned across me and stared straight at him.
"Call that" She states in a manner that I've grown accustomed to. She's asking me to give it a name so that she knows what it is.
"Buddha" I reply.
"I don't like him" She states.
"Well I do..he's nice and he's my friend" I respond absentmindedly.
I thought the conversation was done. After dragging my butt out of bed an hour later and getting ready while leaving her in the room I realize it is far from over.
She comes flying out of my room crying about buddha and how he is scary.
I explain that he's nice and our friend and Melina happily nods and repeats what I said.
"I like him" She says "He's my friend, I don't hit him"
"Right" I nod.
The next day she had climbed in bed around 5am and was still fast asleep come 7am when I crept out of the room with Jasmine to get ready for the day. It's not a regular occurence to have a calm morning. I was relishing in the peace of being able to get ready without demands and to sit down and enjoy a coffee when I heard it.
Death screams.
I panicked. I ran up the stares with a million thoughts running through my head.-She fell off the bed and broke her arm. She hit her head and is bleeding everywhere. I forgot the bathroom door and she cut herself with the razor. Oh My God, What happened?!- Buddha.
That's it. Just Buddha.
She continues screaming as I fly into the room. Tears pouring and she is pointing at the "evil" Buddha.
So much for peaceful mornings.
Melina hates him
We were sitting in bed bright and early in the morning when Melina leaned across me and stared straight at him.
"Call that" She states in a manner that I've grown accustomed to. She's asking me to give it a name so that she knows what it is.
"Buddha" I reply.
"I don't like him" She states.
"Well I do..he's nice and he's my friend" I respond absentmindedly.
I thought the conversation was done. After dragging my butt out of bed an hour later and getting ready while leaving her in the room I realize it is far from over.
She comes flying out of my room crying about buddha and how he is scary.
I explain that he's nice and our friend and Melina happily nods and repeats what I said.
"I like him" She says "He's my friend, I don't hit him"
"Right" I nod.
The next day she had climbed in bed around 5am and was still fast asleep come 7am when I crept out of the room with Jasmine to get ready for the day. It's not a regular occurence to have a calm morning. I was relishing in the peace of being able to get ready without demands and to sit down and enjoy a coffee when I heard it.
Death screams.
I panicked. I ran up the stares with a million thoughts running through my head.-She fell off the bed and broke her arm. She hit her head and is bleeding everywhere. I forgot the bathroom door and she cut herself with the razor. Oh My God, What happened?!- Buddha.
That's it. Just Buddha.
She continues screaming as I fly into the room. Tears pouring and she is pointing at the "evil" Buddha.
So much for peaceful mornings.
Giraffe and Barbie buy Groceries.
Imagination gone
wild.
Within the past month all the toys have been given voices and the dialogues have been amusing.
"I'm going shopping!" Melina says with Teddy in hand. I decide to play along.
"Ooo, what are you going to buy"
"No Mommy!"
I'm a little perplexed. What does she mean by no?
"Ok.."
"Teddy is going shopping!"
"Oh! What is teddy going to buy?"
"No Mommy!"
This conversation sucks.
"I'm going shopping" She repeats and stares at me expectantly, teddy still in hand.
I stare back then shift my eyes... confused and waiting for some direction in regards to her expectations.
She thrusts teddy in my face
"I'm. Going. Shopping " She repeats.
The light bulb goes off. I'm not talking to her, I'm talking to teddy!
"Well teddy what are you going to buy?"
The conversation goes on and on.
That was the first time. It was adorable and has evolved since then. I love hearing the little conversations between dinosaurs who chomp and rawr, dolls and barbies who do groceries, cars who give kisses and teddies who likes to slide and dance.
Just the other day I could hear her chatting away in her room and I snuck upstairs to see her giraffe and barbie talking about Groceries and our little dog, Goldie, who passed away. I quickly got my husband and we stood in the stairwell listening to her. She has the cutest little voice and I love hearing where her mind takes her. Finally we stepped in her sight and she gave the biggest smile and said "You were hiding mommy!" I chuckled and tucked her back in.
Tomorrow is another day full of imagination.
wild.
Within the past month all the toys have been given voices and the dialogues have been amusing.
"I'm going shopping!" Melina says with Teddy in hand. I decide to play along.
"Ooo, what are you going to buy"
"No Mommy!"
I'm a little perplexed. What does she mean by no?
"Ok.."
"Teddy is going shopping!"
"Oh! What is teddy going to buy?"
"No Mommy!"
This conversation sucks.
"I'm going shopping" She repeats and stares at me expectantly, teddy still in hand.
I stare back then shift my eyes... confused and waiting for some direction in regards to her expectations.
She thrusts teddy in my face
"I'm. Going. Shopping " She repeats.
The light bulb goes off. I'm not talking to her, I'm talking to teddy!
"Well teddy what are you going to buy?"
The conversation goes on and on.
That was the first time. It was adorable and has evolved since then. I love hearing the little conversations between dinosaurs who chomp and rawr, dolls and barbies who do groceries, cars who give kisses and teddies who likes to slide and dance.
Just the other day I could hear her chatting away in her room and I snuck upstairs to see her giraffe and barbie talking about Groceries and our little dog, Goldie, who passed away. I quickly got my husband and we stood in the stairwell listening to her. She has the cutest little voice and I love hearing where her mind takes her. Finally we stepped in her sight and she gave the biggest smile and said "You were hiding mommy!" I chuckled and tucked her back in.
Tomorrow is another day full of imagination.
Never stops Surprising
Counting. What a chore!
We have been counting for a long time now. At one point Melina could count to ten in perfect order and in two languages. That didn't last.
Now its. 1, 10, 8, 6, 4. or 5, 20, 10 is her favorite. The price of everything is also $5:20:10.
The other day we were counting as we took each step up the stairs. I'd say 1, she'd say 2, I'd say 3. Well, I'm sure you get the point. Anyways. I didn't notice that we had continued counting.. I said 17, she said 18, I said 19. And she excitedly finished with 20!
We've never counted to twenty. She never stops amazing me.
We have been counting for a long time now. At one point Melina could count to ten in perfect order and in two languages. That didn't last.
Now its. 1, 10, 8, 6, 4. or 5, 20, 10 is her favorite. The price of everything is also $5:20:10.
The other day we were counting as we took each step up the stairs. I'd say 1, she'd say 2, I'd say 3. Well, I'm sure you get the point. Anyways. I didn't notice that we had continued counting.. I said 17, she said 18, I said 19. And she excitedly finished with 20!
We've never counted to twenty. She never stops amazing me.
No time for Pain
Irritable, fussy, drooling, angry, hostile,diarrhea, rash and in pain. That is teething right?
I wouldn't know.
You can never tell when she's teething. Her first tooth came in about a month before she turned one. But it wasn't just one tooth, it was three at once, the fourth was a tad bit slower but it too was sprouting up.
Next came the molars, I missed those too, one day she had them. I noticed because I stuck my finger in her mouth and it came out wounded. Who knows when those broke through but there they were.. all four of them.
The eye teeth followed. She was lethargic, not eating, fussy, and extremely cuddly. Poor little girl. Did I mention she had pneumonia and croup? I thought the teeth were the culprit, silly me, she is a trooper. The symptoms went away immediately once antibiotics started. Teeth were not the issue.
Now she's cutting her last molars, haven't noticed a thing.. aside from the sudden appearance of more teeth.
I wouldn't know.
You can never tell when she's teething. Her first tooth came in about a month before she turned one. But it wasn't just one tooth, it was three at once, the fourth was a tad bit slower but it too was sprouting up.
Next came the molars, I missed those too, one day she had them. I noticed because I stuck my finger in her mouth and it came out wounded. Who knows when those broke through but there they were.. all four of them.
The eye teeth followed. She was lethargic, not eating, fussy, and extremely cuddly. Poor little girl. Did I mention she had pneumonia and croup? I thought the teeth were the culprit, silly me, she is a trooper. The symptoms went away immediately once antibiotics started. Teeth were not the issue.
Now she's cutting her last molars, haven't noticed a thing.. aside from the sudden appearance of more teeth.
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Food- the highlight of her days
Melina is a food baby. Food is everything to her, I think she'd eat all day if she could. I get tired of feeding her.
With the passion she feels for food, she says some pretty cute things.
One time, I popped a mini donut in my mouth before supper, I had already had one and given one to her. I also had already told her that she was only allowed one before supper. I broke the rule. She came around the corner and squinted at me. I just looked at her, mouth closed tight, not chewing, and pretending to be innocent. She wasn't fooled. She continued squinting and said calmly "I want a donut too" I don't even know how she knew.
Then there was the time I reached into the freezer and dug out the pre-baked cookies I had made. I very quietly opened the Ziploc bag. She came whizzing around the corner at full speed and loudly yelled "Hey! Give me my cookies!"
Or the time I was eating a Greek salad, she had already inhaled hers and had picked off the good parts in Papa's salad. She came over to me and I told her no, mommy doesn't want to share. She look at me and said "Mommy you bad, I have to steal your tomato!" I must say she made me chuckle which earned her a tomato.
Like I said.. She's a food baby.
With the passion she feels for food, she says some pretty cute things.
One time, I popped a mini donut in my mouth before supper, I had already had one and given one to her. I also had already told her that she was only allowed one before supper. I broke the rule. She came around the corner and squinted at me. I just looked at her, mouth closed tight, not chewing, and pretending to be innocent. She wasn't fooled. She continued squinting and said calmly "I want a donut too" I don't even know how she knew.
Then there was the time I reached into the freezer and dug out the pre-baked cookies I had made. I very quietly opened the Ziploc bag. She came whizzing around the corner at full speed and loudly yelled "Hey! Give me my cookies!"
Or the time I was eating a Greek salad, she had already inhaled hers and had picked off the good parts in Papa's salad. She came over to me and I told her no, mommy doesn't want to share. She look at me and said "Mommy you bad, I have to steal your tomato!" I must say she made me chuckle which earned her a tomato.
Like I said.. She's a food baby.
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