Could be a con artist.

She's got skills.

Not only can she convince any person outside the home that is the most delightful little girl with the best manners, cutest smile, and happiest disposition but she can push boundaries so far past the line that I don't even know where they are anymore.

We've removed her door because we are replacing it with a prettier one. Mind you, I sold it before I had finished painting the new one so she is now door-less. Which wouldn't be a problem .. except that it is our only leverage. When she constantly leaves her room at night, we threaten to close the door and at times we have to follow through with the threat.


Now I'm not so stupid as to make an empty threat about a door that is not there, but I must say that I have no idea what other leverage I could use.

The first time she left her room after the removal of the door, she got caught and ran straight back to her room in tears (before I had even said a word!) and started crying "Leave the door open please". A second into her tear-filled rant she says "HEY! Where is my door? I don't like my door I want a white one"  (The new ones are white- old are oak  -yuck)

Then yesterday I told her. "If you do not stay in your room then Mommy is going to take your dinosaur away"

"Ok Mommy, here is my dinosaur" She hands it to me with an equally firm stare.

1 Point Melina, 0 point Mommy.

Always ten steps ahead of me. If she does something wrong she places herself in time-outs and even goes as far to play up a very dramatic crying fit which of course is entirely fake and she stops when she removes herself from her fake timeout.

I've come to the realization that discipline is not at all effective for her. She rebels and it is just one big power struggle. To which 99% of the time I lose.

If I reason with her or "guide" her (a.k.a- if she gets her way) Things go smoothly.
So if she wants to hit, I have to tell her what she is allowed to hit.
If she wants to yell, I have to tell her where it is okay to yell.
If she doesn't want to share, I have to tell her where she needs to play to have alone time.

I guess I should be proud that she stands her ground. Goes after what she wants and has a backbone but it's not fun when I am the one in the power struggle.

Breakthrough

"I had them first" Melina states firmly as she pulls the basket of markers across the table and away from me.

Sighing I repeat what I have been repeating for months. "WE are coloring, and WE have to share"which is usually followed by some muttering, a little bit of whining and a forceful action of sharing meaning she will toss the item at you that she is forced to share.




Melina stares at me with a blank expression.

Just another day with a toddler.

I stared back and politely asked for the markers. Then I saw it. The light bulb. Her eyes lit up and she pushed all the markers towards me and said "Mommy I share it"

I became excited to say the least. "Good sharing Melina! That makes Mommy very happy"

And it stuck. No more hitting, pushing, shoving, whining, throwing fits. Okay I should clarify that this is only in regards to sharing not when it comes to being angry, or not getting the thing she is currently demanding.  It is a huge leap. Past few days have been filled with lots of sharing and playing nice and the happier I get over it, the happier she gets.

About the same time that she learned that playing nice is more fun is the same time that "Please" made it back into her vocabulary. We taught her to say "Excuse me" when she wants attention and it involves interrupting, but it ended up replacing Please. We bought a tiny little book with a very simple story that involves a penguin making demands and the mother teaching him to say please. Now when I raise my eyebrows at her endless demands.. she pauses.. gives  a big grin and excitedly shouts "PLEASE!"

Buddha

I love Buddha statues. They have to be the cutest little things. I finally got around to buying on. He isn't my first choice, has a funny smile that borderlines on crazy looking.

Melina hates him

We were sitting in bed bright and early in the morning when Melina leaned across me and stared straight at him.

"Call that" She states in a manner that I've grown accustomed to. She's asking me to give it a name so that she knows what it is.

"Buddha" I reply.

"I don't like him" She states.

"Well I do..he's nice and he's my friend" I respond absentmindedly.

I thought the conversation was done. After dragging my butt out of bed an hour later and getting ready while leaving her in the room I realize it is far from over.

She comes flying out of my room crying about buddha and how he is scary.

I explain that he's nice and our friend and Melina happily nods and repeats what I said.

"I like him" She says "He's my friend, I don't hit him"

"Right"  I nod.

The next day she had climbed in bed around 5am and was still fast asleep come 7am when I crept out of the room with Jasmine to get ready for the day. It's not a regular occurence to have a calm morning. I was relishing in the peace of being able to get ready without demands and to sit down and enjoy a coffee when I heard it.

Death screams.

I panicked. I ran up the stares with a million thoughts running through my head.-She fell off the bed and broke her arm. She hit her head and is bleeding everywhere. I forgot the bathroom door and she cut herself with the razor. Oh My God, What happened?!- Buddha.

That's it. Just Buddha.

She continues screaming as I fly into the room. Tears pouring and she is pointing at the "evil" Buddha.

So much for peaceful mornings.

Giraffe and Barbie buy Groceries.

Imagination gone

 wild.

Within the past month all the toys have been given voices and the dialogues have been amusing.


"I'm going shopping!" Melina says with Teddy in hand. I decide to play along.
"Ooo, what are you going to buy"

"No Mommy!"

I'm a little perplexed. What does she mean by no?

"Ok.."

"Teddy is going shopping!"
"Oh! What is teddy going to buy?"

"No Mommy!"

This conversation sucks.

"I'm going shopping" She repeats and stares at me expectantly, teddy still in hand.

I stare back then shift my eyes... confused and waiting for some direction in regards to her expectations.

She thrusts teddy in my face
"I'm. Going. Shopping " She repeats.

The light bulb goes off. I'm not talking to her, I'm talking to teddy!

"Well teddy what are you going to buy?"

The conversation goes on and on.

That was the first time. It was adorable and has evolved since then. I love hearing the little conversations between dinosaurs who chomp and rawr, dolls and barbies who do groceries, cars who give kisses and teddies who likes to slide and dance.

Just the other day I could hear her chatting away in her room and I snuck upstairs to see her giraffe and barbie talking about Groceries and our little dog, Goldie, who passed away. I quickly got my husband and we stood in the stairwell listening to her. She has the cutest little voice and I love hearing where her mind takes her. Finally we stepped in her sight and she gave the biggest smile and said "You were hiding mommy!" I chuckled and tucked her back in.

Tomorrow is another day full of imagination.

Never stops Surprising

Counting. What a chore!

We have been counting for a long time now. At one point Melina could count to ten in perfect order and in two languages. That didn't last.

Now its. 1, 10, 8, 6, 4. or 5, 20, 10 is her favorite. The price of everything is also $5:20:10.

The other day we were counting as we took each step up the stairs. I'd say 1, she'd say 2, I'd say 3. Well, I'm sure you get the point. Anyways. I didn't notice that we had continued counting.. I said 17, she said 18, I said 19. And she excitedly finished with 20! 

We've never counted to twenty. She never stops amazing me.

No time for Pain

Irritable, fussy, drooling, angry, hostile,diarrhea, rash and in pain. That is teething right?

I wouldn't know.

You can never tell when she's teething. Her first tooth came in about a month before she turned one. But it wasn't just one tooth, it was three at once, the fourth was a tad bit slower but it too was sprouting up.

Next came the molars, I missed those too, one day she had them. I noticed because I stuck my finger in her mouth and it came out wounded. Who knows when those broke through but there they were.. all four of them.

The eye teeth followed. She was lethargic, not eating, fussy, and extremely cuddly. Poor little girl. Did I mention she had pneumonia and croup? I thought the teeth were the culprit, silly me, she is a trooper. The symptoms went away immediately once antibiotics started. Teeth were not the issue.

Now she's cutting her last molars, haven't noticed a thing.. aside from the sudden appearance of more teeth.

Food- the highlight of her days

Melina is a food baby. Food is everything to her, I think she'd eat all day if she could. I get tired of feeding her.

With the passion she feels for food, she says some pretty cute things.

One time, I popped a mini donut in my mouth before supper, I had already had one and given one to her. I also had already told her that she was only allowed one before supper. I broke the rule. She came around the corner and squinted at me. I just looked at her, mouth closed tight, not chewing, and pretending to be innocent. She wasn't fooled. She continued squinting and said calmly "I want a donut too" I don't even know how she knew.

Then there was the time I reached into the freezer and dug out the pre-baked cookies I had made. I very quietly opened the Ziploc bag. She came whizzing around the corner at full speed and loudly yelled "Hey! Give me my cookies!"

Or the time I was eating a Greek salad, she had already inhaled hers and had picked off the good parts in Papa's salad. She came over to me and I told her no, mommy doesn't want to share. She look at me and said "Mommy you bad, I have to steal your tomato!" I must say she made me chuckle which earned her a tomato.

Like I said.. She's a food baby.

What Makes you Scared

Melina has been scared of a few things in her short life.

Once, my husband tried to scare me. He came downstairs wearing a realistic and bloody terrifying halloween mask, he popped around the corner and laughed. Of course my head was buried behind boxes as I was searching for things and Melina was the one in plain view of the wall he jumped out from. She shook from head to toy, screaming and crying.

He felt bad.

That's an understatement. He felt like the worse dad.

After we hid the mask in a box she was terrified of all masks, the box that hid the mask and the stairway where he popped out of. The stairway was a tough one to overcome, any time we were two steps ahead she'd start screaming and shaking.


Then there was the fear I instilled in her.. it was unintentional I swear. I was sitting on the floor in the basement of our new house. There was movement in the corner of my eye. That's when I remembered that I had seated myself in the corner where the biggest spiders like the party. I jumped up and turned around. Sure enough, a huge black spider was scampering across the rug. I screamed rather loudly and ran up the stairs, leaving Melina behind. The spider wouldn't hurt her, I'm not a bad mom. *Shifts eyes* But I didn't take into consideration that if I'm scared then of course she is scared. So she screamed and ran too. When my husband asked what was wrong I explained that there was a big spider. She heard me. She's scared of spiders too. Oops.

Then there was shadows on the wall. I don't blame her. Shadows are big and the come out at night when you are all alone. She'd laugh with me as I made finger shadows on the walls in hopes that it would help her feel safe. It didn't. She'd scream about the shadows on the wall until we had to turn on all the lights. There. No Shadows. That only lasted a couple weeks.

Recently, it's flies. It's finally summertime and there was a fly by the window. She cried. I went over to see what was wrong and she pointed and said "The butterflies going to get my toes" I chuckled. "It's a fly not a butterfly and it won't hurt you, they are our friend" I tried to show her that they don't hurt and I moved my hand as close as I could to the fly without scaring it. She laughed. It was not a normal giggle. It was a hysterical giggle. The kind of laugh that people in padded rooms make. I raised my eyebrow and looked at my husband. Maybe she was just really happy. Then I walked away.. she screamed and shook. The laugh made sense then. Her laugh was out of fear. It was not a happy laugh but a laugh that says I'm trying very hard to think that this is funny but I still believe he's going to eat my toes mom.

A mind of her own

Melina is a social butterfly which is odd because she comes from two very anti-social parents. Needless to say, I've learned to be social. There is a need for it when your toddler walks into a strangers house at Halloween  or strikes up a conversation with the man in line at the grocery store, or gives kisses to the mom at the park... and even more so when she helps herself to the food in someones stroller. Social skills are needed.

She generally likes everyone. She will walk into your life and make herself at home. She's a people person. She's more charismatic then Hitler I have no doubts that she could run the world. People always exclaim "She's just the sweetest little girl" She can wrap you tight around her baby finger and you won't even know what hit you.

Then there's the times when she doesn't like you. Her strong, happy, social emotions are just as strong when it's turned around. She feels with passion.

The first time was an adorable old lady who sat beside us while we waited to pick up the kids I was watching. She reached out to Melina and said Hello. She said "Hello" to my Melina. My super friendly, overly social, likes-everybody chatterbox. And Melina screamed. Screamed loud and long and yelled "No!"
It took one second for the little old lady to find a new chair. I felt bad.

The second time was when my husband's friend came to take photographs of Jasmine. He was setting his things up when Melina walked into the room. She squinted her eyes in a steady glare, lifted her finger and pointed straight at him and pronounced with certainty " I.Don't.Like Him" and walked away.

She has a big personality in that little body.

Teaching- she makes it look easy

On the way down to surprise Grandma, I sat beside Jasmine and Melina's seat was turned around to face me. She chatted away, showing me all the houses outside and her shoes and anything that was within her line of sight.

No offense. But the conversation became boring rather quickly so I decided to teach her some things. At this point she already knew her name is Melina. She knew that when you ask how old she is that she is to reply "I am two years old" It's cute. She knows mommy's name and she refuses to believe daddy has any other name then Papa. She knows that baby sister is named Jasmine. Sometimes she will count to 10 but she likes to mess them up.

This is when I learned that she really pays attention. At bath time there is some foam letters and she always asks "What's that" I say provide her absentmindedly with the name of the letter. Turns out she was listening. I sang the alphabet "A, B, C,D" and she provided "E, F,G". I looked at her in shock- I've never sang the alphabet- singing is not my strong suit. She proceeded to surprise me by singing the letters that followed each section I sang. She also sang happy birthday to Grandma- brought tears to Grandma's eyes of course.

My little Sponge

I've prided myself on not being that Mom who thinks her kids are the best, smartest and most adorable little creatures. It's hard to be humble when you get told on a daily basis that your child is advanced for her age in regards to language. At first, I thought they were just being nice. Every body exaggerates on the cuteness of other kids, or how good they are at stacking blocks, or how they can walk exceptionally well.

It started with Grandma. "She's a little genius" Grandma's are biased, they don't count. I chuckled and went a long with it, saying she was going to be a mastermind when she was older. Of course I was kidding, but Grandma nodded enthusiastically.

Then a few Mom's at the park would ask "How old is she?"... I'd provide her age and they'd say "Wow, she speaks so well" I'd struggle to find a polite, non-arrogant way to answer which usually was "She loves to chatter". "Thank you" didn't suffice since it was not me they were complimenting. "Yes she's advance" was like shouting that I thought my child was superior.

Then there was the passerby's in the street or grocery store who'd respond with shock when she'd tell them all about her day, or the item she had in her hand. They'd ask her ask and follow with the same sentence I'm so used to hearing "Wow, she speaks so well for her age"

But after a year and a half of people telling me she speaks so great, she's articulate, she's advanced.. I'm finally starting to believe that my child is excelling in language. And that doesn't make me a bad person I realize. When people really push that she is so great at speaking I usually reply "Kids can excel in one thing but fall back in another" I usually persuade them that Melina cannot climb things as well as other kids her age so that she balances out. And its true- sometimes they fall back in other categories.

I've been told by a grade 2 teacher that she is more advanced them some kindergartens- my heart swelled. Stop telling me this.. I might become that parent. The one that brags. But hey- that's what parents are for. I am the one to cheer on my kids, to push them to excel, to be their biggest fan. I'll try to keep it under control.

My little sponge. She makes me proud

Kids Say The Cutest Things- Or the Funniest- Or the Most Embarrasing

Rona. That's where we were. Melina was climbing on a mountain of bagged soil- it's hard to keep her standing still. That's when motor mouth shared her newfound knowledge.  "Daddy you have a Penis"
I chuckled and turned away in hopes that if I ignored her she'd move on. It didn't work. "Daddy you have a penis" He just stared at her... pretending like he didn't understand.

"Daddy... You have a penis!"

Finally I nodded and said "Yes, Daddy does"

She was content and moved on to absorb more knowledge.

Mini Mommy

I gave birth to my second daughter, Jasmine, on March 19th, 2013.

Melina makes a great big sister- always trying to help especially since Jazzy happened to be a colicky baby.

Whenever I was rushing around to clean, cook or accomplish something and Jazzy was exercising her vocal cords, I would say in a soothing voice "It's okay baby, shh, you are okay" and usually I'd follow with the same soothing voice "I know .. I know baby" in an effort to understand her tears.

Well my little mini me running this household brought a smile to my lips one day. Jazzy screams were filling the room and I was rushing to finish the task at hand and Melina.. my darling Melina propped herself on a chair and proceeded to bounce Jasmine in her bouncer, all the while saying, in the same high pitched soothing voice "I know baby, I know.. it's okay shhhh"


My little helper, what would I do without you.

Playroom Mountain

Every month I do a big clean. I disinfect a lot of the toys, scrub the others, and rotate everything.


After hours of cleaning, the playroom was sparkling, the toys from the closet had moved to the room and the others were easily accessible in the closet now. They were clean and in perfect order.

I sighed a sigh of contentment and sat down to enjoy a quick rest. I played on the computer and the kids occupied themselves in the playroom. Usually my little girl comes flying into the kitchen at a rate of about 10 times a minute to show me this.. or that. But the silence was deafeaning.

I frowned realizing that my break was all too enjoyable and I headed to the playroom. The beautiful, clean, well organized playroom that I spent hours on that morning..ya that one?

Every car, every stuffed toy, every block, Lego  doll, pillow, chair, table... ya... they were all in a mountain in the corner.

So much for organizing.

Sleeping in.

It was a Saturday morning. It was 730am. We slept in!

I awoke to the sun shining and a feeling of euphoria. I hadn't slept past 6am in a long time, Melina must have been tired to still be sleeping.

I stretched and opened my eyes with a big smile.

Melina's head popped up at the end of the bed "I had a good night mommy"

I groaned. If my toddler was up then something has kept her busy. If something has kept her busy then I will have to clean up that something.

Q-tips. Don't buy the big boxes- it's a tease for toddlers. Q-tips covered my bedroom floor. And all that nicely folded clothes placed properly in drawers.. that filled the gap between the Q-tips. Oh and the clean clothes in the basket... mixed with the dirty clothes in the hamper.

Like I needed more laundry.

Don't sleep in. It's not worth it.

Naptime- but Not Mine

We were visiting grandma and it had been a long week so my husband decided that at naptime he would join Melina. Not only would it help her sleep but he could catch some zzz's to. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Grandma and I were having coffee enjoying some adult conversation without the constant chatter of my two year old when we heard it.

Behind the door of the spare room you could hear the pitter patter of feet and the slight sounds of falling items. It was not enough to worry us- after all- Daddy was in there, he's handle it.

Then we saw it.

The tiny little pebbles of dog food flying under the door at warp speed. That's when we knew that there was only one person napping and it was not the toddler. We opened the door to the sweet stench of bagged dog food, and chaotic mess of little pebbles scattered everywhere.

The dogs enjoyed helping with that mess.

The discovery of Sparkles.

I was at the dollar store hoarding all the crafts supplies in excitement for my dayhome to start. I saw sparkles. I bought lots of sparkles. My train of thought was "Melina will love how it shimmers!" It seemed like a good idea at the time.


It wasn't.

I swear I will always be sweeping, wiping and vacuuming up sparkles and that, my friend, is not an easy task.  She asks for sparkles every craft time which I usually respond with a resounding "No!"  or "not today" because sparkles mean constant, unwavering supervision. Baby's hungry? Too bad- Melina has sparkles. You have to pee? Hold it- Melina has sparkles.

Well we had to lock the craft cupboard, and the door into the bathroom that has the craft cupboard which has another lock. We forget sometimes.. silly parents. First the bathroom was smothered with sparkles, the floor still twinkles as you pee.

Then the kitchen was hit by the sparkle queen, I'm still sweeping up the shimmering dust two months later.

And last but not least- the playroom. Oh the playroom got it bad. She managed to dump a whole container of sparkles. The came back into the kitchen and handed it to Daddy saying " I'm done." His eyes widened and he panicked holding the remaining sparkles in hand. "Done what?"

That's when he discovered sparkle mountain. I came home to a sparkly husband and whole main floor that still shimmers.

Don't buy sparkles- that was a bad idea.

Caffeine Overdose

I've taught her from the very beginning that coffee is "Yuck". Whenever I had a mug in hand Melina would scrunch up her nose and loudly proclaim  "Eww Mommy, Coffee is yuck!" and I would gravely nod while sipping my delicious coffee.

Fool her not. When you sneak to the bathroom and the door clicks shut she quickly scrambles on the table to take sips.

Or the time I came out of the washroom to the strong, wonderful sent of coffee grounds. The problem with that is I had made coffee 8 hours ago..

The culprit of course was my toddler who wanted to share the coffee with my daycare kids. She brought my jumbo sized container of Folgers and dumped it in the playroom and on the 15month old little girl. Coffee in hair, hands, feet, clothes, and in every corner. I had to frantically clean up all the grains before they spread them into every room.


My vacuum still smells like burnt coffee whenever I turn it on.

Mini Michelangelo

We moved into our new home in September, which is about the time my almost-two year old discovered the joys of coloring. Which is also the same time I learned the reason behind washable markers.

The first incident was while mommy and daddy were chatting away in the kitchen- Melina was about a foot away, hidden by the too-tall bar height table. She was quiet .. that's when I knew something was wrong. I walked around the table and she loudly pronounced with a big smile "Mommy I color." And color she did- thank god with a pencil. I didn't even know you could scribble that much in the minute that she was hidden. That came off easy enough. Phew!

The second incident about a week later was while mommy and daddy were cleaning the basement. Melina was running around with a ball- kicking it from room to room. I should have known it was a distraction and a reason to enter the office. Silly Mom. All over the wall and our new office chair and the desk too... this time is was pen. Not so easy to wash off and the chair still bears the scars from my toddler.

The third incident. Oh the final push- the one that made me scour the house for all things that made marks- pens, pencils, markers, lipstick. This was in the stairwell. I was hauling boxes up and down the stairs and she was usually following me.. but she stopped... she was not behind me. I went flying down the stairs to find my mischievous little girl, marker in hand... permanent marker in hand, smile on face and a beautiful display of her artistic talents all over my walls.

Just so you know- the real magic eraser (not the cheap look-alike) gets permanent marker off the wall- along with the first layer of paint- but hey you take what you can get.

That is when I learned that she was not to be trusted with markers- crayons were hidden, coloring pencils gone, and the only marker allowed in her hand is the washable ones.

Of course there have been more incidents. The day we moved our chair to discover my little girl had used those walls as her hidden canvas. Or the time she climbed on a chair to steal the dry erase markers and color her playroom chair (that stuff does not come out of fabric) Or what about the time she stole another dry erase marker and colored on the window seal, table, chairs, floor, playpen....... A lot of elbow grease was used to minimize the damage but still my house will forever bear the damage of my disaster causing toddler.

To this day- whenever there is a color in her hands there is color elsewhere. Usually we can contain it to her body parts; whole limbs are colored black or pink... but every now and then she takes her abuse out on our furniture and walls- especially when we use the washroom.

I've talked with other parents who have cute little art areas set up for their toddlers- saying "it's good for their creativity" and "oh Anna knows she's not allowed to color on paper". So does Melina.. but that doesn't stop her.

Introduction- The Reason Behind the Blog

December 25th, 2010. I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. 

She was a quiet little one; always sleeping. Loud noises didn't wake her, bright lights never fazed her. She was the perfect baby. 

Then she turned 2. 

Now my perfect baby has turned into a manipulating mastermind. Each day is a new adventure; always trying to keep up with her. She is a ball of energy with the appetite of a small army. I thought little girls were supposed to be angels but mine is the devil in disguise. Even more so- she fools others into thinking she is a well-behaved little princess whom wouldn't dare dump sparkles in the living room or create art on the walls. Nope not my little girl. 

Will it ever end? 

I hope not- then what would I blog about.